One of the most common patterns I see in my work is the tendency to push ourselves beyond what’s sustainable. It shows up differently for everyone: perfectionism, over-achieving, self-criticism, burnout, procrastination masked as pressure.
But underneath it all is a belief I hear over and over:
“If I don’t push myself, I won’t get anywhere.”
Let’s pause that narrative for a moment.
Because what I’ve come to understand, both personally and professionally, is this:
When we learn to take the pressure off, we actually create more freedom, not less.
The Pattern of Pressure
From a human behaviour perspective, pressure is often a response to internalized expectations. Somewhere along the way, you learned that your worth is tied to output, effort, or proving yourself. So you keep striving, tightening, performing, hoping that maybe then, you’ll feel “enough.”
But that pattern is exhausting.
And it’s not how real change or growth happens.
When the nervous system is in a constant state of stress, we often turn to coping strategies to soothe or distract ourselves. For some, that looks like binge eating, mindless scrolling on their phone, or smoking a cigarette just to breathe through the overwhelm. These behaviours aren’t flaws. They’re adaptations—attempts to regulate in the absence of safer, more supportive tools.
But they also keep us stuck in the same cycles we’re often trying to escape.
Is It Pressure or Competition?
A powerful question to ask is this:
Are you being competitive with yourself? Or with others?
Competition can sneak in quietly. It can sound like:
- “I should be further ahead by now.”
- “Everyone else seems to be handling this better.”
- “If I don’t keep pushing, I’ll fall behind.”
Whether you’re comparing yourself to your past self, your ideal self, or someone else entirely, that internal competition feeds pressure. Often, it’s running unconsciously. Your system is wired for survival, and sometimes that means pushing to prove or protect.
But growth doesn’t require competition.
Real change begins when you slow down enough to notice your patterns without judgment and begin responding from a place of clarity instead of reactivity.
What Freedom Actually Looks Like
Taking the pressure off doesn’t mean giving up on your goals. It means giving yourself permission to stop operating from fear, urgency, and comparison.
It might sound like:
- “I can trust my pace, even if it’s slower than I think it should be.”
- “Rest is productive. So is joy.”
- “I don’t need to earn my worth through effort.”
- “I can still move forward while being kind to myself.”
When you begin to shift out of pressure and into presence, your need for coping strategies often starts to loosen. You no longer need to escape your life with food, cigarettes, or your phone, because you’re starting to feel safe in your life.
This is where freedom begins.
A Practice, Not a Switch
This isn’t a one-time mindset shift. It’s a daily practice. A moment-by-moment awareness. A willingness to pause and ask:
- Is this helping me feel more connected to myself?
- Am I competing, or am I choosing what feels true for me right now?
- What would change if I gave myself more permission and less pressure?
Taking the pressure off gives your system a chance to breathe. It creates space for clearer thinking, more emotional regulation, and better decision-making. It invites you to live from who you actually are, not from who you think you have to be.
So today, I invite you to soften.
Loosen your grip.
Notice your patterns with compassion, not shame.
And see what becomes possible when you stop competing and start listening.
Ready to explore change in a deeper way?
Book a free screening to see if hypnosis is the right path for you. This no-pressure consultation is a space to get clear, ask questions, and discover whether this is the right place for you to shift what’s been holding you back.
